Don't, Don't, Don't Let's Start

Have you seen the excellent list of Don't's ? For those who haven't, check it out! It's a fantastic list of 41 "Don'ts" for women cyclists from 1895. I thought it would be fun to go through and do a "Don'ts" get to know you:

Don’t be a fright. - Well, if you ever spot me on a Sunday morning when I haven't had my tea yet and am on a donut mission...

Don’t faint on the road. - Yeah, good plan. What about beside the road?

Don’t wear a man’s cap. - Too late

Don’t wear tight garters. - Again, too late.

Don’t forget your toolbag - Oops!

Don’t attempt a “century.” - Only b/c I haven't had the time.

Don’t coast. It is dangerous. - But I live on top of a ridge! I HAVE to coast. Down anyway.

Don’t boast of your long rides. - Well there's no point boasting about my short rides.

Don’t criticize people’s “legs.” - What about their "brains"?

Don’t wear loud hued leggings. - Yup. Do that.

Don’t cultivate a “bicycle face.” - HA! I Like to check out people's driving face.

Don’t refuse assistance up a hill. - Like anyone would really offer. Sheesh...

Don’t wear clothes that don’t fit. - I pretty much always wear clothes that don't fit. And yet I'm a seamstress. You would think I would do something about that.

Don’t neglect a “light’s out” cry. - Or a "last call" cry. Have one for me!

Don’t wear jewelry while on a tour. - Any? At all? I've got some I can't take out.

Don’t race. Leave that to the scorchers. - And the NASCAR driver wannabes.

Don’t wear laced boots. They are tiresome. - Tiresome yet HOT! Definitely worth the effort. :)

Don’t imagine everybody is looking at you. - But they are I tell you! I see them try to take pictures as they drive by!

Don’t go to church in your bicycle costume. - Not a problem. But there was this one time that I had to change out of the torn petticoat part of my "bicycle costume", and I did it right in front of a church. :o

Don’t wear a garden party hat with bloomers. - Only fezzes are acceptable with bloomers.

Don’t contest the right of way with cable cars. - Right.

Don’t chew gum. Exercise your jaws in private. - Hey hey! ;)

Don’t wear white kid gloves. Silk is the thing. - I prefer wool, but sure, ok.

Don’t ask, “What do you think of my bloomers?” - Oh come on, you can tell me. What DO you think of my bloomers? ;)

Don’t use bicycle slang. Leave that to the boys. Um...

Don’t go out after dark without a male escort. - I'm going to call my headlight my "male escort" now.

Don’t without a needle, thread and thimble. - Don't anything, ever?

Don’t try to have every article of your attire “match.” Heh, I'm lucky if I pull off coordinated.

Don’t let your golden hair be hanging down your back. - Not a problem for this brunette!

Don’t allow dear little Fido to accompany you - Only Felix

Don’t scratch a match on the seat of your bloomers. - I never could get them to light that way anyway.

Don’t discuss bloomers with every man you know. - There's enough discussion of bloomers in this list as it is.

Don’t appear in public until you have learned to ride well. - Only ride in very tight circles in your living room until you can ride well enough to be seen in public.

Don’t overdo things. Let cycling be a recreation, not a labor. - YES!

Don’t ignore the laws of the road because you are a woman. - Don't ignore the laws of the road b/c you are a CYCLIST.

Don’t try to ride in your brother’s clothes “to see how it feels.” - I don't have a brother. Can I try out dad's?

Don’t scream if you meet a cow. If she sees you first, she will run. - What if the cow broke out of it's field and is running down the road at you?

Don’t cultivate everything that is up to date because yon ride a wheel. I've never been good at "up to date".

Don’t emulate your brother’s attitude if he rides parallel with the ground. - Only if he rides perpendicular to the ground.

Don’t undertake a long ride if you are not confident of performing it easily. - B/c then you might have to walk the bike. The shame!

Don’t appear to be up on “records” and “record smashing.” That is sporty. - And they don't play very well once smashed.