Thursday, December 1, 2011

Don't, Don't, Don't Let's Start

Have you seen the excellent list of Don't's ? For those who haven't, check it out! It's a fantastic list of 41 "Don'ts" for women cyclists from 1895. I thought it would be fun to go through and do a "Don'ts" get to know you:

Don’t be a fright. - Well, if you ever spot me on a Sunday morning when I haven't had my tea yet and am on a donut mission...

Don’t faint on the road. - Yeah, good plan. What about beside the road?

Don’t wear a man’s cap. - Too late

Don’t wear tight garters. - Again, too late.

Don’t forget your toolbag - Oops!

Don’t attempt a “century.” - Only b/c I haven't had the time.

Don’t coast. It is dangerous. - But I live on top of a ridge! I HAVE to coast. Down anyway.

Don’t boast of your long rides. - Well there's no point boasting about my short rides.

Don’t criticize people’s “legs.” - What about their "brains"?

Don’t wear loud hued leggings. - Yup. Do that.

Don’t cultivate a “bicycle face.” - HA! I Like to check out people's driving face.

Don’t refuse assistance up a hill. - Like anyone would really offer. Sheesh...

Don’t wear clothes that don’t fit. - I pretty much always wear clothes that don't fit. And yet I'm a seamstress. You would think I would do something about that.

Don’t neglect a “light’s out” cry. - Or a "last call" cry. Have one for me!

Don’t wear jewelry while on a tour. - Any? At all? I've got some I can't take out.

Don’t race. Leave that to the scorchers. - And the NASCAR driver wannabes.

Don’t wear laced boots. They are tiresome. - Tiresome yet HOT! Definitely worth the effort. :)

Don’t imagine everybody is looking at you. - But they are I tell you! I see them try to take pictures as they drive by!

Don’t go to church in your bicycle costume. - Not a problem. But there was this one time that I had to change out of the torn petticoat part of my "bicycle costume", and I did it right in front of a church. :o

Don’t wear a garden party hat with bloomers. - Only fezzes are acceptable with bloomers.

Don’t contest the right of way with cable cars. - Right.

Don’t chew gum. Exercise your jaws in private. - Hey hey! ;)

Don’t wear white kid gloves. Silk is the thing. - I prefer wool, but sure, ok.

Don’t ask, “What do you think of my bloomers?” - Oh come on, you can tell me. What DO you think of my bloomers? ;)

Don’t use bicycle slang. Leave that to the boys. Um...

Don’t go out after dark without a male escort. - I'm going to call my headlight my "male escort" now.

Don’t without a needle, thread and thimble. - Don't anything, ever?

Don’t try to have every article of your attire “match.” Heh, I'm lucky if I pull off coordinated.

Don’t let your golden hair be hanging down your back. - Not a problem for this brunette!

Don’t allow dear little Fido to accompany you - Only Felix

Don’t scratch a match on the seat of your bloomers. - I never could get them to light that way anyway.

Don’t discuss bloomers with every man you know. - There's enough discussion of bloomers in this list as it is.

Don’t appear in public until you have learned to ride well. - Only ride in very tight circles in your living room until you can ride well enough to be seen in public.

Don’t overdo things. Let cycling be a recreation, not a labor. - YES!

Don’t ignore the laws of the road because you are a woman. - Don't ignore the laws of the road b/c you are a CYCLIST.

Don’t try to ride in your brother’s clothes “to see how it feels.” - I don't have a brother. Can I try out dad's?

Don’t scream if you meet a cow. If she sees you first, she will run. - What if the cow broke out of it's field and is running down the road at you?

Don’t cultivate everything that is up to date because yon ride a wheel. I've never been good at "up to date".

Don’t emulate your brother’s attitude if he rides parallel with the ground. - Only if he rides perpendicular to the ground.

Don’t undertake a long ride if you are not confident of performing it easily. - B/c then you might have to walk the bike. The shame!

Don’t appear to be up on “records” and “record smashing.” That is sporty. - And they don't play very well once smashed.

14 comments:

  1. Hi Amy,
    I enjoyed this blog especially about legs and brains, oh, and bloomers.
    A cow ran out of a field on me years ago, I though I was done for. It missed me by inches!
    Take care,
    Robert

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  2. This don'ts list is fantastic. Made worse/more fantastic, due to how many of the things I could cross off as don'ts that I had done! Well until the sad day that my bicycle died :( once Christmas shopping is out of the way, I will be investing in a new bicycle!

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  3. This is amazing. I have to admit the "Don’t wear loud hued leggings" is one of my favorite rules to break on a bicycle.

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  4. Too funny... I'm always double checking to make sure my bloomers are not showing. Hey, now-a-days: low rise and skinny jeans one's bloomers are bound to overflow - there's no stopping them.

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  5. Ha!

    Good point about the uphill part. Now I'm mad at all the men in my life for never offering me assistance up a hill. Jerks!

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  6. LittleMissL - Oh no! Sorry to hear about your bike! Hope you find a new one soon.

    Kara - This is why we love Sock Dreams! :)

    Sue - Too true. Oh well!

    Dottie - I know! Oh well, we just have to consider hoofing it up hill as just another joy of cycling. Pushing a heavy city bike uphill is pretty good exercise too!

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  7. I have to admit, I've worn tight garters as well (sock garters, anyway). I would recommend against it, but it's certainly not the end of the world :)

    Your bloomers are fetching, whatever anyone says :)

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  8. I've got several types of garters, and I have to say I'm quite taken with my double grip clips ( http://bit.ly/9Eesjq ) you can hold all sorts of stuff up with these!

    Dave - Well danke! :)

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  9. Oh yeah - my wife has some of those that she uses to hold skirts down while riding sometimes :) She used to work at Sock Dreams, so we got the in on the sock-paraphernalia :)

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  10. How cool! I love sock dreams. I buy their O Woolies and dye them in my own custom colors. I could spend way too much money there!

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  11. My wife got especially lucky, as the employees of the store model the socks, and they got to keep any socks they modeled (since they had put them on). We're still getting rid of ones she hasn't worn much :)

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  12. Lucky lady! Now I'm extra jealous. :)

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